Grace and Perfection

The Parable of the Pharisee and the Tax Collector

To some who were confident of their own righteousness and looked down on everybody else, Jesus told this parable:
Two men went up to the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector.
The Pharisee stood up and prayed about himself: 'God, I thank you that I am not like other men— robbers, evildoers, adulterers— or even like this tax collector.
I fast twice a week and give a tenth of all I get.'
But the tax collector stood at a distance. He would not even look up to heaven, but beat his breast and said, 'God, have mercy on me, a sinner.'
I tell you that this man, rather than the other, went home justified before God. For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted.

How might we re-tell this story for today?

Two mothers were talking about a third parent listing all the ways in which the other mum was ruining her children's life - and by implication praising their own perfect parenting skills. The other mum was indeed a bad mother, she wasn't as organised and disciplined as the others, she often lost her temper, she had smoked while pregnant and she sometimes hit her children after drinking too much. But instead of looking for someone worse than her to slag off she instead cried out to God 'Oh Lord, I must be the worst mother in the world, I don't deserve to live'. And God was greatly pleased with this mother but not with the other two.

Two Christians were sitting in church listening to the preacher whose theme was the Parable of the Pharisee and the Tax Collector. One of them thought to themselves 'That's right, I undertstand this parable pretty well and I'm thankful that I often bear it in mind. Thank God I'm so humble'. But the other Christian was thinking 'Oh my God, that's what I've been doing. I've been sitting in church thinking about how good I am (of course I give God the credit for that) but now I see that makes me out to be like the pharisee not the tax collector'. And it's obvious which one's prayers made a real connection with God there and then.

As far as personal humility is concerned we know not to boast. If we want to show off we have to be really subtle about it and if we want attention (which we all do) the best way to get it (like power) is to appear as though you have not sought it at all. But we all know the truth: we like to be praised and we can't stand to be criticised.

But if we want our worship to make that real spiritual connection with God then it must include confession. And if we want to feel part of that connection for ourselves then we must, in our hearts, unburden ourselves of the illusion that we are without sin.

God is perfect, we are not. Jesus is perfect, you are not. The Holy Spirit is perfect, the church is not. And yet we limit what we can achieve in our lives, in every venture whether it's a career or a relationship, we limit what we can achieve because we don't imagine that we get anything wrong.

Parents are a good example in illustrating the theme of this parable, because being a parent means being tormented by visions of perfect parents and perfect children. Some parents pretend, to others, that they are perfect parents when there is no such thing. From before your children are born until the day you die you will make decisions that could be right or could be wrong. Over time this inevitably builds up a mass of wrong decisions - things you chose, things you did that you could have not done, things you didn't do that you should have done - that have effected your children. That have harmed them, limited their opportunites, upset them, damaged them.

Every parent experiences guilt. But some parents are in denial about this. They pretend that everything is perfect when the world outside, their children and God Himself see all too clearly that this is not right.

There's another trick that parents who can't fact the inevitable guilt of parenthood sometimes pull. That's to say that the things they have done, the choices they made over the years may have been wrong - but it was never my fault. I had no choice - 'I had to take that job that meant I would never see them because we needed the money.' 'I never showed them any love because that's not how I was brought up'. 'I fed them on junk food because no one ever taught me how to cook'. Deep down they must know that this isn't good enough.

Every single parent is plagued, at times, by feelings of regret.You can't get out of this by pretending that you were some sort of moral robot without the ability to make independent moral choices. The heavy burden of being a parent is that you must make moral choices and you must live with the consequences of these choices. You can't opt out of this universal truth by lying to yourself that you never made any mistakes, or by believing that you only ever did what you had to do and never made choices for which you were responsible.

So given that the guilt is crushing and utterly unavoidable isn't it wonderful that there is a way to be free of it. And that's to be like the tax collector and to freely and honestly admit all your shortcomings without making excuses. Now this situation is clearly seen with the example of parents, but actually it describes the human condition full stop. We are all tax collectors so we should not pretend to be pharisees.


The person who approaches God in this way, aware of all that they do wrong, receives a wonderful response from God. They don't just get a tick against their name, being right with God means receiving his forgiveness there and then. In power and in the spirit.

You can be forgiven. What's more you can feel like you've been forgiven. Tax collectors, unfit mothers, those we like to take comfort from being better than - they may well be much closer to God than we are.